Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you
and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account (Matthew 5:11)
As I shared yesterday, there are times that your faith will put you at odds with others, sometimes with friends and even family. There is no doubt that this can be difficult, if not, heartbreaking.
One such experience in my life occurred with a friend who, during a time of spiritual wilderness, I was meeting with as a pastoral counselor. He was searching for God's place in his life and he and I met several times, since I knew his family and had played softball with him.
He made his way through several spiritual practices -- from Buddhism to Judaism to Christianity. He settled on Christianity and began moving toward a very fundamentalist interpretation of the faith. During this time we continued to meet, discuss scripture, and look at varying interpretations of discipleship. He had begun living a very ascetic life, i.e. no TV or books other than the Bible, very plain clothes, and shutting himself off from family and friends. He would go to work and spend a significant amount of money on scripture tracks that he would hand out. He put bumper stickers all over his car that were religious in nature and across his back window it read, "If you died today, where would you go? Heaven or Hell?" Our meetings stopped soon after.
I would still occasionally see him on the street, where he would be preaching, often outside sporting events. I would always say hello and at first he was accommodating and would talk with me. Until one night.
Our congregation was going to a Cincinnati Reds game. I was pushing one of our young mentally ill members into the game in his wheelchair when I spotted him preaching outside the game. I went over to say hello and he looked at me and began screaming at me. He said, "Would God want you going into this place of sin? Would Jesus be inside at the game or out here doing what I am doing?" He started quoting scripture at me and telling me that I was a sinner and needed to repent. I was really ticked off. I was with a handicapped, mentally ill young man who loves the Reds and going to this game was a real highlight for him. I told him this and said that Jesus would be taking this young man to the game too. Yet, he was having none of this.
As I left, telling him I would be praying for him and his ministry, he dismissed me and then yelled for all those around to hear, "Pastor Dave you are a false prophet. You are going to Hell and you are leading my family to Hell."
I admit that what he said bothered me. Not because I believed he was correct. Of course not.
What bothered me was that someone who I had spent significant time with and who I consider, if not a friend, at least a friendly acquaintance, would say and think such things about me. Even as I could intellectually understand what had happened, it still was unpleasant.
Interestingly, he came by to see me about a month later. He apologized to me at first. However, he then went about trying to "save" me. He said my faith was counterfeit and I was going to Hell if I did not repent and begin believing as he did. Without giving the details, let me just say that we did not come to a place of reconciliation.
I have moved past this moment. Still, I've had subsequent moments where people have questioned my faith and questioned my pastoral leadership. I've been told that I am not faithful enough to scripture. I have been told that I am leading my congregation to ruin. I have had people question my actions and motivations at various times in my ministry that were a complete surprise to me. And it really sucks when this happens.
Yet, I must say that in these moments of struggle, I have relied heavily, if not solely, on Jesus. And friends, I have been led through moments of ridicule and reviling by remembering that Jesus knows me, my heart, and my intentions. And there is blessing in knowing that at the end of the day (literally and figuratively) I can rest well, even amidst my brokenness, sin, and failings, in the gentle and forgiving arms of a merciful savior. And in these moments, I even find myself praying for those who have wounded me. And I pray for those who I have wounded. And hopefully, I pray, they are doing the same for me.
Loving Jesus, your love is all that matters. And because you love and value all, that means that I will strive to love like you. Amen.
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